| Happy? |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|09:57 pm] |
The actual goal of the blog tonight is to write something not horrible/depressing. In this lovely recession, it has become all to easy to let myself slip into the woe is me mindset and just wallow in the malaise.
So, the happy topic for the night.....Cookies.
It appears I'll be organizing a 'cookie exchange' amongst the people I work with. Basic idea is that we get a list of people together and all agree to make a certain number of cookies. Then a few days before the holidays, we get together for milk and cookies, and each go home with a dozen of each type that the people in the group made.
The idea is, you make one cookie, but lots of them. After the exchange you have like 8 dozen cookies of all kinds. Variety without having to do as many dishes.
Cookie topic two...
I have found a cookie recipe that is WAYYYYYYYYYYY easy, and WAYYYYYYYYYYY good.
1 pkg cream cheese
1 stick butter
1 egg
1 t vanilla
1 pkg cake mix(double triple choc seems best)
Mix/blend in order.
Chill for >2 hours
Make Walnut sized balls, and roll in Pwd sugar.
Bake at 350 for 12 minutes.(don't over bake, they don't brown)
They are called goooooey butter cookies, and they are easy and way good.
Cookie topic 3....
A few years ago I had mentioned to Mr. Dan that I had never been given a Big Cookie (i.e. the choc chip with the ton of frosting as decoration). Wouldn't you know it, I no longer have that deficiency in my cookie history.
Cookie topic 4...
We have an issue at work with the cookies that get saved on the computer when running the program get too big, and blow up the system.
Damn. Even cookies seem to have a depressing side. |
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| The Club |
[Oct. 8th, 2009|07:00 am] |
My sister and I have discussed it many times, that we are in a club. The Dead Dad Club. As it turns out the Missing Mom club appears to be another one just like it. That club membership has made me very sad at times. I joined when I was 30, and once you join, you’re in forever. Those not in the club don’t know what it means to be in. They think they do, and they try so hard to understand, but they should consider themselves very lucky that they don’t get it.
I think what I find so hard about this membership, is how at times it takes over all your thoughts. You never know when it is going come up and overwhelm you for a day. It isn’t safe to watch TV, or read email, or even pet you cat. Anything might start the tailspin, and so far I haven’t found anything that can stop the spin.
It was silly what started the sadness yesterday. It was simply a person on some show. He had the same teeth, and similar mannerisms. How he was when his world crushed in on him was the same as how my Dad was when his mom died. It brought back a huge number of memories, and I haven't been able to shake it. That day when I saw my dad was as hurt as I have ever seen him, not only had he lost his mom, but also his sisters had betrayed him. The same tears I cried then, I cry now.
Another thing that set it off is was reading the planning for my MIL’s b-day. Of course this brought up thoughts of my own Mom. She joined the club about a year before she got married; same as me. My mother in law had the same thing. I really wish this wasn't a family trend. There are a lot better things that I wish we could have in common.
I miss my dad. It's been over 8 eight years now, and frankly there are times I think I'm still in denial. I can't believe I have to go through so much of my life without him. He never got to meet Dan. He never got to meet my pup. He never had my niece wrap him around her little fingers. He never took my nephew fishing. He never got to be a part of so much.
I'm also very angry with him. He should have taken better care of himself. It was really pretty mean of him to not to have. You aren't supposed to loose a parent at that age. I still needed him. I still do now. I guess I have to take better care of myself too, or the people I love won't be able to have me around either. I can't imagine causing this much pain for people I care about.
My last conversation with my Dad I can remember so clearly. I was planning a trip with Dan to meet everyone, and he was so excited. I truly wish I had told him how much he means to me. I guess I got very lucky. I had him for 30 years. Some people never have someone that special. If nothing else, I learned to tell people I love them. Tell them every time you see them, and mean it.
They say the things that happen to you in life build character. In this case, I think it would have been better to have kept my dad and missed this character lesson. I would have preferred to delay my membership in the club. I think I joined a bit too early. I wasn’t ready yet. |
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| Kitty B-Day |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|08:28 am] |
Today is one of my kitties B-Day. He turns 12. In people years that is more like 60+.
For his B-Day he received a special tub of cat food & 2 marinated mice.
Quite the party.
I'm aware most people would consider celebrating a cat's b-day as insane. To me it is simply something we do because that is what has to be done.
How many things in life are done just because that is how it is done?
For me, that would be a long list. I was brought up in a house where you did what is expected of you. In my house my way of seeing the world from a different point of view only gained acceptance because I fit the 'independant daughter' position in the family org chart. Now that we are older, all three of us are fitting other molds, but those early deffinitions still come back.
My family always compared me to my aunt. That same aunt is sick now (C). Her family and friends proceeded to inform the doctor that they didn't know who hey were dealing with, and wouldn't you know it, she has proved them all wrong by first surviving, and now getting better ahead of schedule.
One other comparison made on occation was to my grandfather. He was a Methodist minister & bawked the system all the time. Once, when it was just him, my dad & myself in the car, he stopped to pick up a hitch-hiker. He caugh hell from my mom for that. I don't think he would have done anything different even knowing the tongue lashing he would get. He did what he believed needed to be done, he followed what he preached.
I guess, if I get to be like someone, I could have been stuck with people I don't admire.
Anyway (and to loop back to the original impetus of the blog), one other label I had from age 9 was and is....crazy cat lady. I really don't think anyone that knows me would disagree with that moniker. |
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| Today |
[Sep. 12th, 2009|10:53 pm] |
Well, as I log in tonight, I found out it has been 52 weeks since my last post. If you care, sorry, if you don't, I guess you just learned I'm a lazy blogger.
Believe it or not, it appears that per usual it took a trama to get me posting again. Oh the trauma of today. I may be scarred for all of a day.
Today, I attempted to pamper myself. There was pampering, but also continued humiliation.
Background: This summer I took a promotion at work. Since, I've been stressed and overworked. I think it will be very good in the long run, but for now, it has made a day of pampering necessary.
Why does this matter...well, it explains my choice of pamper location today. You see, my very cool hubby got me a gift with the promotion. A gift certificate to the red door spa. He did this a few years ago too, and I always enjoy a spa day.
So, I invited a friend to go with & we went.
My manicurist today took one look at my feet, and was horrified. They were soo very dry. From there she proceeded to scold me, constantly, loudly & included looks and head shakes. She asked how often I do this, and I sheepishly told her yearly. Again a scold, a look, and a cajoling discussion of how I should be in there every other week.
So after she went through the normal prep work, she went to get paraffin. My friend's lady came back with two small garbage like bags with paraffin in them. My woman, she had orange Biohazard bags. I mean really. I know my feet were bad, but Biohazard?
If this were the only thing that made me feel old, dry, used, limp, dull,... lately, I think the laughing at this would have served as a release and that would be it. But no, this was not the first little death of my dignity and self image lately. No, the first ding was at a friend's ceremony about a month ago, where I was mistaken as her mother! The friend is 2 years younger than me. How grey has my hair gotten. Do I really look old enough to have a 36 year old kid?
So, long embarrassing stories later, here I am. Grey & Dry.
P.S. About an hour ago I found out I'm not the only only one getting old around here. My hubby proceeded to fall asleep in the bathroom. If that isn't a sign of aging, then what is? |
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| Change |
[Sep. 10th, 2008|10:04 pm] |
I don't generally like change. I can handle it, and have even been known to thrive on it...I just don't like it.
In January as many of you know things changed for me. We moved and I changed jobs within my company...all in the same week. Both have worked out pretty well, but I wasn't a happy camper for a bit there.
There are those people who almost seek out change. It is like they get a sort of high out of every change that comes up. To a certain extent I envy those people.
Anyway, Hubby and I are in one of those change times again. I had barely gotten over the last one, and here it comes again. So far this time seems to just be work related things for the both of us. People leaving, Position changes, Late Nights, and the all important STRESS.
So anyway, the stress/change going on has me thinking. Is it all change that bothers me, or just the moving/job type changes. So here is a bit of a list of other small changes made this year and my 'stress analysis' of each...
Adopted Dog - 3
Decorating the House - 3
Armadillo - 1
Family seeing the house for the first times - 4
Cat sick - 4
Promotion at work - 5
Ceiling Issues - 2
Compare those to the Jan things
Buy House - 5
Move - 7
Job Change - 9
Yep, it appears work is too high on my list of stressors. Or, is it the mitigating factors in each that matter?
House stuff in general has been fun and creative, plus I get to do it with hubby. So it isn't really that bad.
Dog/cat stuff while expensive(vet bills), I still get to come home with them, and there really is nothing like a cat snuggle.
Job stuff, I have good friends at work and enjoy what I do, but in the end I still stress on this the most.
I guess it could also be the amount of control I have that affects the stress level.
House stuff - I could fix it if need be in every case
Dog/Cat - I have a good vet, the worst part is watching them feel bad
Work stuff - No control except quitting, which would bring up a whole new set of stressors.
So I guess in the end the only stress factor for me seems to be the amount of control over the situation I think I have, or possibly the mitigating factors. Honestly it could just be a simple as I stress about work.
So if you see me in the next couple weeks (online or in person) please bear with me, the stress monster is attacking. |
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| Voting |
[Sep. 3rd, 2008|10:24 pm] |
Regardless of your personal beliefs, i.e. whether you are Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green Party, or Joe Schmoe's Decision Crew, elections are important.
Point 1 - why don't more people vote?
The voter turnout here in the US is pitiful. Are there actually any elected officials who were voted for by > 50% of the peoople who are elligible to vote? I don't think so.
I've heard people give the excuse for not registering to vote that they don't want jury duty.(how patriotic) I heard people give excuses both good and bad. For me it isn't a choice of if I vote, just for whom.
A friend of mine at work was sworn in as a citizen just a couple weeks ago. He was so excited. The idea of voting just makes him smile. There is a real interest and pride in getting to vote there.
His excitement is genuinely contagious.
I wish all of us that are natural americans, took it nearly as seriously as those who are joining us.
Point 2 - Voting for or voting against.
I find that again in this election I will be voting against a candidate vs. for someone. So why can't we get good candidates to run for elections?
I've said many a time that I could never run for an elected post because I have too many skeletons in my closet. Also, I wouldn't want my family put through the ringer that seems required. So I guess on this question I have to blame myself along with everyone else who is too scared to run.
In the end, we can't get good candidates, because we don't care what they stand for as much as the seemy corners of their history.
I went into this election with lots of hope. Hope that I would be voting for somewhere I believed in. At this point I'm voting for the lessor of the evils. But, unlike the majority of adult americans, I will be voting.
Will You? |
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| Let's try this again... |
[Aug. 28th, 2008|10:15 pm] |
I haven't blogged much lately. If you were bothered by this, I apologize. If you didn't notice, then I guess I need a bit more action in my blog, so that people would notice.
Well, we have been working on the house a lot. I think we both question the choice for a large backyard each week we have to mow the lawn. Honestly, the husband character has been doing the loins share of that, but I do at least try.
I have Zen weeding plans on Sunday. My sister invented Zen Weeding when she was down for a visit earlier this spring. Basically it consists of sitting on the ground and picking all weeds in your area. My Texas Sage bushes are blooming, and need a few fewer weeds to look their best.
Our Japanese maple tree hasn't made it. We had bought an end of season plant from Home Depot and it just never took root. After a bit more research I think I'll buy another. This time however, the plan is to get/plant the tree during the ideal time of the year. I think we may also go for a bit more perfect a specimen. It appears that you get what you pay for in trees.
The rest of the plantings have basically done well. Considering the number of plants we put in, one bush and one tree isn't too bad a kill rate. Especially for me.
Inside things aren't quite as good. Our big healthy Jade plant, isn't much more than a few stalks with minimal leaves now. We have tried barely watering it, watering it more, more sun, less sun. Basically what we have determined is we aren't very good at growing a jade plant.
The Dog is doing well. He seems to be happy about being with us when we are home. He stresses during the day when he is in his kennel. Actually we have been taping him on the video tape during the day to see how he is doing. So far, it appears that he barks/whines for about 50 minutes when we leave. I've read about some pheromones that you can get which calm the animals, but it seems wrong to be basically manipulating his hormones to calm him. The adoption documents did say he had separation anxiety, so I guess I should have expected this issue.
Max (cat) seems to be doing a bit better. I'm almost scared to take him to the vet again, as I'm worried they will tell me he needs surgery. He has put on a bit of the weight again (He had lost about 12% of his weight in 2 weeks). I'll get over my fear...next week.
Anyway, there is the home front update, or at least the plant and animal update for now.
I'll write again soon (hopefully). |
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| House |
[Jan. 16th, 2008|10:38 pm] |
Well, we did it. We bought the house today.
I'm excited, exhausted, and ready to be in the house fully.
To those we love, we will be sending the new address out soon. If you don't get the email, you might want to question your status.(gosh after that statement I had better not accidentally forget someone on the email)
As always, we have a spare bed ready for friends and family. We require 24 hour notice, but other than that we are pretty easy.
Night.
D&D |
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| blogging |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|05:02 am] |
I've spent about the last hour or so reading my hubby's blog. He is so good about posting on a weekly basis. I don't seem to have that ability to be that organized and predicable about my blog frequency. I like the more random schedule.
so anyway, here is another blog, randomly posted on random topics.
topic 1 - house update. We now have brick, walls, windows and a couple of doors. The most amazing thing this week is the echo when you talk in a totally empty home.
topic 2 - holiday decorating. The stores went WAYYYYYYY overboard this year. They started decorating before Halloween. I love Christmas, always have, always will. In my family it has always been the one time of the year that anyone in the country always makes it home. I even love the gift giving part of things. There is something truly gratifying about guessing what a person will like, and then seeing them open it up and enjoy it.
topic 3 - thanksgiving turkey. As it is thanksgiving weekend, I thought a note on turkey would be appropriate. I have a theory. The flavor of turkey a person prefers (white vs. dark)(that is if they eat turkey at all) seems to be determined by what turkey their parents eat. Hubby's rents both are dark meat eaters, he is a white meat kind of guy.(not sure about the siblings). I have mixed parentage(i.e. one white meat and one dark meat) and therefore the children split 2 to 1. We have discussed this overwhelming observation with others, and it appears to be somewhat on track from our minimal un-scientific survey.
topic 4 - in a modern day world, where most of us do not own a sewing machine, let alone remember how to use it, what is the best way to get custom pillows made? As anyone that has read the blog knows we are getting a new house. As such, I want to have a few pillows made to give our modern furniture that usable quality. I have picked out a fabric, and I can prep the pillows, but where does a person in today's world get the actual sewing done? I'd prefer to do it myself, but honestly there is very little possibility of that working. As my mom reminded me, my sewing in the past has been crooked at best and dismal in reality. So my options are to ask someone to do me a favor(not something I'm good at asking) or paying someone to use their machine to sew straight lines for me. there is something sad to the idea of paying someone to sew a straight line for me. I might have to see if there is a machine rental service for a month, and try it on my own. If nothing else, it might make a good blog.
wouldn't that be a nice change.
topic 5 - I've discovered my spelling and typing is significantly impaired at this time of the morning. Please forgive any significant mistakes, this was written when I should have been asleep. |
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| House Update |
[Sep. 8th, 2007|06:41 am] |
Well, I'll head up today for yet another visit to the house, or rather the empty lot where a house will be built.
I've determined I want a history of the house being built. As such I decided to go up once a week to take a pic of the house/lot to show the progress of it being built. 2 problems.
1) This first part where it is just a lot isn't so interesting. I think we have 4 pics now that look basically the same.
2) There will be another very boring part near the end after the brick is up. I don't think we will notice the changes much at that time.
One friend suggested just taking the pics when something happens, but the issue there is, unless I go up there I would never know when something happens. I sort of wish they had a web site I could check daily to see if anything cool/important/at all was happening to the house on a daily basis.
Which brings me to a nice departure from the house talk.
About a year and a half ago, we bought a MINI Cooper. For this fun purchase they provided a web site that gave just that information. It told us when it had been built. It told us when it was on the slow boat from England, and it told us when it sat at the dock for 2 weeks before finally being put on a truck. There was an odd sense of control that came from knowing just those little bits of information. I remember calling the Mr. when the car was on the boat and some wry comment he made about a car on a boat being odd somehow. |
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| We Bought a House |
[Aug. 22nd, 2007|05:36 am] |
Yep, we did it.
We finally are joining the world of mortgage payments and stressing about termites.
Some would say it is about time, honestly, I still feel like we rushed it a bit.
Either way, it's done we have a contract, and the house will be complete by either Jan or Feb.
I'm both excited and worried.
There are a bunch of mixed emotions and thoughts associated with this purchase. There is the money, the longer commute, I've now made a commitment to live in Texas for 5 more years, etc. Somehow, all those pale in comparison to the change in lifestyle worries. We won't be able to take as many trips. We are likely to not go out as much. We will always have tasks to do around the house. It in many ways feels like there is a change in the level of freedom we will have. Freedom is generally one of those underlying core things you ignore, until it is threatened or infringed on.
I just re-read that last part, it seems quite negative, please don't read it as such. It was merely a revelation that this move towards becoming an adult like many other adult moves has an element of giving up a bit of freedom.
As with many things we do in life there are actually two sides to this change in freedom. Long run, it will afford us more freedom as we get older and get more equity in the house, short run it means making some sacrifices.
I guess based on the fact we have chosen to buy a house we can assume we feel the long term benefits out weigh the short term costs. |
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| House Hunt part 2 |
[Aug. 5th, 2007|10:43 pm] |
Well today I took Dan to the house. He really didn't want to fall for it, but I think he did.
We have huge amounts to figure out, financing, commute time, options etc, but it feels like this is going to happen.
Prior to getting to the new house builder, we stopped a bunch of other places and they didn't seem to be right. In fact the two I got out and grabbed a paper for caused me injury. There is a sign there somewhere.
I feel a bit too old to be buying my first house, let alone for putting it off for another 5 years.
More to come... |
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| House |
[Aug. 5th, 2007|06:37 am] |
Yesterday I did it. I made the first genuine attempt to look at buying a house.
We have been toying with the idea for a couple of years, but I finally went looking. Honestly, I was nearly giddy with nervous energy, as much as when I bought my first car.
I've done all the research about the loan/loan process. I know what we can afford on my salary alone or on Dan's, but I still feel totally unprepared for this.
Prior to going I had a list of probably 20 things I wanted to ask. When there I probably remembered 8.
As expected Dan brought me a bit down to earth and pointed out some things we needed to check on, and pointed out some things we should do. Like call a realator.
I'll keep the blog informed on our progress. |
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| Hair |
[Jun. 25th, 2007|09:49 pm] |
Well, this weekend I did it. I cut off 14" of hair.
Most people's first question is 'how does it feel'? Honestly, it feels very weird. For a person who has spent her entire adult life with long hair (sometimes VERY long hair), to now have hair that doesn't make it past my shoulders is very weird.
I did it for a number of reasons, the easy one is, I wanted to donate it, which I have. The other reasons all boil down to a simple need for change. Not sure why change was so critical right now, but it is.
I've always believed that a person's hair is an extension of who they are, even if they don't know it (yet). It might not start out that way, but eventually you sort of evolve into matching your hair. (Sort of like how pets look like their owners or couples that are married forever start to look alike.) There are those that will disagree with me this assertion, and to them I say they just haven't bonded with their hair yet.
Take my boss. He is balding, and keeps a rat tail. He is also sort of a pseudo player/yarn spinner/hippie-ish/car enthusiast/dog lover, so his hair of fits him. My husband is sort of a music dork with jock tendencies who currently sells jewelry, and he shaves his head bald every morning. Again that is a match. (Note: he let me shave his head the first time he did it, and I have the blackmail pics with racing stripes in his hair to prove it.)
My curls, long curls became a facet to my personality too. So I wonder what cutting them all off will do to me. Is my personality going to morph into someone else? Am I all of a sudden going to have great self esteem? Can I expect to stand just a bit taller now?
Hair, or at least the way you choose to wear it, is sort of like clothing. You don't get to choose ever aspect (curly, thin, balding vs. petite, tall, or plump). But after you get past the basic undeniable and unchangeable parts, your choices from there on in should match you. I've always had issues with people whose clothes don't match the personality. When I notice it I'm always thinking that they are wearing someone else's clothes.
I dislike when I come across a person whose clothes or hair don't match who they are. Honestly, it is almost like they are lying to me by their very appearance. They say the majority of communication is non-verbal, I'd definitely put clothes and hair in as parts of that non-verbal.
So back to the question; what will my new hair say about me & will I morph into a person with this do? |
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| Father's Day |
[Jun. 17th, 2007|07:22 pm] |
(H, don't read unless you can cry.)
This is one of my least favorite days of the year. I used to make the obligatory phone call send a card on the second sunday of June each year. I'd give almost anything to have the chance to do better than the 'obligatory' now. I'd give almost anything to get to give him a hug just one more time.
As you may have guessed, my dad isn't around anymore. About 6 years ago, my world changed forever when he died. Now, there are those days where I go into a tail spin and sit at my computer crying. This is one of those days.
In a tv show (Grey's Anatomy) this year a charactor had their father die. After, a friend came to him and said basically ... welcome to the club, the dead dad club. You can't be in it until you're in it.
I hate being in this club. The night the show first aired, my sister and I happened to talk, and both broke down. They got it 100% right.
It sucks.
Anyway, now father's day a day of regrets. Regrets that I didn't tell him I loved him every chance I got. Regrets that I didn't visit more. Regrets that I didn't revel in every moment I had with him.
My husband gets to see this lovely scene on each of these days where I remember what I've lost. The only good thing, is hopefully it has taught him the same lesson I have learned: Cherish every moment with your loved ones while you can, and always tell them how much you love them.
So on this father's day I'll say this. Make that phone call, send that card, and revel in listening to the car story just one more time. You will be glad you did. |
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| Kitties |
[Jun. 8th, 2007|11:12 pm] |
Today I logged into my work email and discovered the woman who had given me my kitties about 10 years ago, has another set of kitties needing adoption now.
The story goes, about 3:30 am their miniature daushound woke them up basically barking about someone in her yard. The someone were two abandoned or orphaned kitties about 6 weeks old. So being the animal lover she is, they went out and brought the tykes in.
They were clean, loving, and a bit hungry, but otherwise healthy.
So here I was posed with 2 kitties needing adoption. So I dutifully sent out the emails to my co-workers looking for a good home.
As it turns out my email didn't have to go far. A good friend who has taken care of my boys in the past sits next to me, and about 1.5 years ago lost his dog. Lately he had been thinking about a new pet, but just hadn't taken the plunge.
We (my other co-workers and I) did a number of things to sell him on these little ones at lunch, but I think the thing that did it was the last pic I sent him. It basically showed the two little ones sleeping in the Yin-Yang position. After I sent it to him, he proceeded to turn it into the symbol for Yin-Yang, and the kitties were named.
From the moment they were named, I knew he was in.
I'm thrilled that the kitties found a good home. I'm also thrilled that my friend has pets again. He had been a bit sad since he lost his dog, and had said a couple of times that he was lonely. Kitties will solve that.
It was also fun watching as he first talked himself into adopting the kitties, and then as he named them and finally as he let himself start caring for them.
I'm also stressed. What if it doesn't work out? I'd hate it if anthing goes wrong. I liken setting people up on a date to setting up people with animals. If it goes wrong you will get blamed on both.
Anyway, tomorrow is the big day where he will meet little Yin and Yang. Wish us all luck. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2007|12:48 am] |
There are a number of things I've been meaning to write about but just haven't gotten to. This blog is on one of those stories.
A couple of months ago now, my husband and I were in FL visiting his family. As is standard when you are way too many people in a confined space and unprepared, I got my period while there. Usually his Mom keeps a huge box of everything a woman would ever want or need for such a situation, as is my luck, she was totally out.
But I didn't find that out until after I had to ask her for the box and she determined it was empty. Then she proceeded to tell my sister in law. Luckily she was packing. (I can't tell you how thrilled I was she had something, and if she ever reads this, please take this as a thanks again.)
What you don't know, is this whole monthly bill thing for me has always been a horrendous embarrasement. My mom never explained any of it. Luckily I have an older sister and shared a bath room, so I sort of taught myself all there was to know from the inserts in the tampon and pad boxes. From that auspicious beginning I have never recovered, and to this day hate the thought of anyone knowing I ever have one.
My husband for a time jokingly added "Feminine Protection" to his moniker. So he is Oh so comfy discussing it. I however would prefer if no one ever knew.
Anyway, on to the embarrasing part of this story.
So I used up what my sister in law had, and needed more. I tried to get to a store to pick some up, but for some reason it just wasn't working out (I'm talking 4-5 times we came up with reasons to go to the store, and each time that was killed). Finally, we were ordering in pizza. I insisted on going to pick it up, thinking my husband and I could hit a store on the way, and everything would be handled. Nope, instead of it just being us, we had to take his oldest brother and dad with.
Yep you guessed where this is going. We dropped off my husband to pick up the pizza, and hit a walgreens. I frantically split from the brother in law and father in law to pick up my items, but nope, they followed me, right to the feminine protection isle.
I love them both, but I was petrified when the FIL offered to help as I stood in front of the tampon isle. I imagine I was every shade of red known to man. I grabbed something and made a bee line to check out.
Now you would think this overwhelming level of embarrasement would be enough for an afternoon. NOPE. When we got home the mother in law asked if I got what I needed and it all got discussed yet again in front of pretty much every in law I have.
I have SOOOOO learned my lesson. There will always be a pad or poon handy on every trip from now on. |
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| Change |
[May. 24th, 2007|11:50 pm] |
As any of my massive readership of 2 will tell you, my blogging of late has been a bit sparse. Honestly, I've overwhelmed myself with thinking I have to be as witty as Dan or as deep as H. I've been trying to write long things that have meaning and make people think. (The laughing at how full of myself I am should subside soon, please wait to continue, you may want to actually be able to read the rest.)
I've decided to go more loose with things in the blog. More a log of the funny things that happen in life vs the long editorials. I might even post a bit more often this way. Frankly the long ones aren't happening, so if I am to blog it appears the little bits here and there might be my best bet.
So, in keeping with the new short blog format, i'll end here. |
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| Notes on Friendship |
[Mar. 11th, 2007|02:12 pm] |
I spent a day recently with a friend. Meaning a person I know I can count on no matter what, and who knows they can count on me no matter what. We know each other’s histories, worries, embarrassing moments etc. She is one of the people in life I let see me at my lowest. We are as close as you get to people outside your family or spouse. The true friend.
She has been going through one of those times in life where you evaluate everything. Everything is questioned including and in this case, especially, your relationships. It was all spawned by a brother of hers cutting her out of his life. Long story, but she has a family that makes you thankful for the family you have.
As usually happens with me someone else’s self reflection has caused a self-reflection on my part as well. During our talks, I became acutely aware that she is one of a handful of friends that I hold dear. The list of friends I’ve had for 10 years and am still close to is miniscule.
Yesterday the self-reflection came to a head in one of those a-ha moments. Of the friends I have and hold close, each of them at some point has been there when I really needed them. I’m not talking a shopping afternoon, or a movie; I’m talking life coming apart at the seams true and complete need. For the friend in this case, she helped me when my cat of 18.5 years was dieing; put simply I crumbled and she was there. Another friend was there when a guy destroyed me. My husband who I count as a friend was there when my Dad died.
There seems to be something about those peek emotional moments that just cement a person in your life forever. I couldn’t cut them out of my life even if I wanted to. They are a part of who I am now.
The flip side of my needing people is the friends that have needed me at some point. This list is a bit larger. Always has been. The number of people who consider me a friend seems to always be larger than the other way around. This lovely and somewhat depressing discovery brought up the theory I happened upon yesterday. The root of friendship that is true and deep seems to be when you have needed someone, and they were there for you. You can have the cursory friendships for movies or shopping and those are lovely and may last forever, but these deep friendships those take an emotional component to really hit the core. The lopsided score card in this case is sort of two fold, 1) I’ve had a pretty good life without an abundance of those horrible emotional moments and 2) I’m generally fairly self sufficient, meaning I don’t get to the need as quick as some others.
Next topic; work friends. You generally spend 40-50 hours a week with these people. Which is frequently more time than you will spend with your family. These are not people you choose, they are people you inherit, sort of like family. Sometimes you get a set of work friends that are miserable; people you cannot stand and who add nothing to your life. Other times you get a great bunch that make it onto the list of friends you will keep outside of work. I’m in a group now of the ones that I hope to keep long after leaving the job, and my husband is in a group that I don’t expect there to be any long term contact with. The word friend in these cases doesn’t seem to work, as you don’t actually like them. The word colleague isn’t right either, there isn’t a good word for these work acquaintances that we more put up with than enjoy.
One final note, is family who are also true friends. My sister is tops on this list for me. I love all my family, but my sister, is more than family at this point, she is friend. When we were growing up Dad sort of cursed us that ‘One day she would be a really important to me’, and wouldn’t you know it, he was right. |
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| Tipping |
[Feb. 7th, 2007|11:02 pm] |
Last night my husband and I went out to dinner at Mac Grill. We love it there. We generally order pretty much the same things each time, and we almost always leave wondering why we don’t go there more often.
Last night’s experience would justify our generally sporadic patronage. From the oh so subtle title of this blog you may have guessed our service wasn’t stellar. In fact, it was probably acceptable, but I guess I expect a lot from people who expect 20% of the check in a tip.
So what went wrong? Little things, they forgot my drink order, they brought our main course before we were even remotely close to done with our salads, they didn’t offer to put Parmesan on our entrées, I was never offered another drink while my husband was, we had a significant wait for our check, and when they packed up our left-overs no extra bread was added. I did give them credit for noticing and removing a martini glass left on the shelf next to the table, but other than that, there was nothing done the entire meal outside the bare minimum. So, we gave what for us is an amazingly low tip, 14.6%.
I know that the IRS hits servers with an estimated tip of about 10% when they are filing their taxes, so our tip is more than what they will surely claim as income. So overall, they received more than they are claiming, which should mean what I left was perfectly acceptable. If it was, then why do I feel guilty?
I generally I tip upwards of 18% every time. Last night, I kept track of the plus/minus points as the meal went on. I started at 18% and either added or subtracted 1% for each thing done either right or wrong accordingly. To me this seems like the most equitable way to tip. That way the tip is truly for the service you get vs. just being a gimme.
I’ve never have a problem tipping for good service, I guess my issue is with tipping because it is expected, and because the restaurant owners don’t pay the wait staff appropriately, as they expect people to tip. I think most waiters make about ½ of minimum wage + tips. I’ve also heard that the hostesses and other staff around some restaurants get a cute of the tips, but when I did the hostess thing I never saw a penny.
Tipping is something that has always mystified me. As a child, I was oblivious to tipping my parents did in restaurants, except for once (While on a trip with my family, we ate at Red Lobster. The service was over the top good, I had ordered an appetizer that when it came wasn’t up to the waiter’s standard, so he brought me out an additional one that he considered acceptable. My father was so impressed by this young man, he gave about a 30% tip, and even talked to the manager about how wonderful the experience was. Now that was a tip.) Nowadays my mom always tells me I over tip. Once she even told me to change it, that ‘we don’t tip that much here’, here being Iowa.
One other mystery with tipping is the whole ‘tip your newspaper boy’ thing. I don’t 100% get it. They do get paid to deliver the paper daily, that is their job. For merely doing their job, they expect a tip at the end of the year. I don’t get a tip for merely doing my job, heck I don’t even get one for going above and beyond. Why should I be tipping the newspaper boy? Before I’m tarred and feathered here by anyone who ever was or has known someone who delivers papers, I’ll point out my Dad delivered papers for years. I’m using the newspaper boy as an example here.
Why do we tip some people and not others? |
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